No, not as good as opium . . . but better

Next time . . .

Fri, 30 May 2008 00:53:36 GMT

So apparently, my next story is going to be about some guy named Alfred that kills babies and eats one of their feet. Let's see how that goes. I'll try not to get too crazy with it. But, well, you know . . .

Tee Hee! Look What I Did!!

Thu, 29 May 2008 01:53:55 GMT

Have you ever found yourself in some irreversible chain-reaction situation, thinking, “I really don’t like this.”? If not, I’ll tell you a story so you can have at least experienced it in your mind, not like it’s the most pleasant thing to experience or anything. If you’ve already been through it, or something similar to it, you may read on anyway to kill time while you wait for your outdated dial-up connection to load a 2-minute video of your niece following your older sister’s dog around with a Super Soaker water gun and a maniacal and genuinely amused look on her face. It’s fine by me. Whatever makes you happy. Well, here it goes . . .

This all started on a typical, almost surreally so, day. I was 5 years old – young, naïve, immature, conscious of doing “the right thing,” no sense of identity – a completely different person from who I am today, thirteen years later. On this painfully mundane day, we (me and my fellow classmates, none of whom I regularly associated with), had some sickeningly average peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. “Sickeningly” was used literally in that past sentence. Apparently, those sickeningly average sandwiches were made with fantastically past-their-expiration-date something. How this got by everybody, I have no clue. Maybe the authoritative figures of the school felt like punishing us that day for getting too rowdy all the time during recess and figured that if we were sick, we would just kind of take a nap and not bother them or something. Who knows?

After a while, as you can imagine, us contaminated children began to feel sick and incompliant. We just wanted to lie down and not do anything except fall asleep to ignore the pain. It felt as though a really hateful and upset creature was living inside of me and was physically expressing its hatred on my body’s digestive system. Like if I was carrying the spawn of Satan in my unwilling and unprepared womb. Yeah, this sandwich was pretty brutal. More brutal than sacrificial fetuses. Or goats, whichever you prefer. You get it, right? Brutal. Now back to the point, – if there ever was one, I’d assume it to be this, at least – so now all of us are lying on the ground, moaning, tossing, and turning. Occasionally, someone would run to the bathroom, but that didn’t happen often enough to be called the “normal” thing to do in this situation. I would give it a 1:13 probability of happening. Oh right, the chain-reaction situation. Don’t worry, that part’s coming up. “Coming up” . . . funny that I should say that, actually.

Maybe after about fifteen minutes of us pathetically rolling and groaning like ancient floorboards under E. Honda (of Street Fighter II, in case you didn’t know), one girl casually gets up, seeming to be in a daze. I remember her being the most disliked kid in class. Believe it or not, I wasn’t the least liked in class since I just sort of kept to myself most of the time and was generally ignored. Well this girl, whose name I forget (it was something like Alison or Ashley), continues to stumble around and eventually disposes the contents of her stomach all over a runty child squirming on the floor. On top of already experiencing the wrath of peanut butter and jelly in his own stomach, Runty couldn’t handle somebody else’s problems too. So he does the same as that possible Alison/Ashley girl; you know, the one nobody likes.

Emesis, a word that I didn’t know at the time – not like it would have made any difference whether I did or not – is just a grown-up word for the acts that were being committed in rapid succession in that kindergarten class full of sick children, me included, of course. So I’m sure you can imagine the scenario: one sick child pukes, the next one closest to that one follows suit, then the next, until you have a class full of vomiting children. Emesis. It’s a horribly disturbing scene to imagine, correct? Kids, vomit, shocked teachers, emetophiliacs, upset parents. Not anybody’s best day ever, unless of course if you spend everyday caring for your armless, war veteran grandfather, listening to the same “heroic” war stories while cleaning up the messes he makes with his bowels that show less control than an average teenage boy does around an attractive girl, and on top of that, your parents are alcoholics on a low-wage salary and are unfulfilled by their marriage with each other (those sorts of things usually don’t go too well). In that case, it just might possibly have been your best day ever. Not for most people though, it’s not a great day. But definitely a day to remember and learn from. Hence, my perennial dislike for school-prepared meals, or school-organized anything. And I haven’t puked once since that moment in my life.

Yes, and now we know the reason that I shouldn't be allowed to write stories. They always seem to take a turn for the worse, for some reason. Forgive me if the words are a little quirky. This was my final essay for photography class. Ms. Regalado told us to write about our first school memory. I wanted to entertain her because she's so fuXXing amazing, so I kinda lied a little, or maybe a lot. None of it's true. Except maybe the last couple of lines.

Birthday Weekend/Maroon 5 Concert Pics

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 01:21:10 GMT

So yeah, this last Sunday was my birthday (Happy 18th birthday to me) and so I got a ticket to see Maroon 5 the day before and here's a collection of pictures from that Saturday . . . the videos will be uploaded later. Adam Levine is a potty-mouth.

Pictures Uploaded on 10-19-2007

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 01:04:58 GMT

I haven't been taking too many pictures lately. Most of the photographing I do now is for photography, go figure. Here's a small collection from this week and the last. I'm too lazy to fix them . . . they stay all stock-like and boring.

It's the "OMG WE'RE BACK IN SCHOOL AGAIN!!!" post

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 02:13:32 GMT

So yeah, we're back in school. Enthusiastic w00t, everybody. >.>
Back to the point, I'm posting a mountain-load of pictures so certain people don't try and murder me. >.< *cough, cough*

Summary of the pictures:
I took Ash out for a "walk"/"photo-session."
I made a new bracelet for Andrea.
Some girl in the neighborhood found a duckling and gave it to us.
We just chill out in photography class because we do nothing but sit around there.
It rains during lunch.
I show off my bracelet.
The kid next to me in Web Design gets really bored.
We play around some more in photography . . .
SURPRISE! I have purple/blue/indigo-ish hair now!
And new nails, too. ^___^
There was some happy-fun-time during lunch.
LMAO at Marina's face! XD
Ray drew a really awesome picture of Kevin . . . looks just like him. YAY Kevin!
Angel's ID picture was AMAZING! LAWL!
Marc felt like being photographically creative . . . I guess that's what we took the photography class for.

Anyway . . . ON TO THE PICTURES!

Algorithm March

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 01:39:28 GMT

As I was wandering around the internet, this amazing video presented itself for me to enjoy. And since I enjoyed it so much, I should share it with the people I love, right? So here it is, just keep watching it and it'll make sense in the end. I hope you get a good laugh from it.

[If you like algorithms, marches, ninjas, or Japan, you should be able to enjoy this video.]

There are oodles of different versions of this all over YouTube. It's one of those internet phenomena, like Loituma Girl ^____^ A really interesting thing to see is 967 Filipino inmates do the Algorithm March.

A Fangirl's Rant: Blood Baby & Sacrifice

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 03:19:15 GMT

Can't really explain why but OBSCURE is one of my all-time favorite Dir en grey videos/songs. It always has been, I guess.

I thought I'd take some screen caps to share some of the more fun moments of the video. ^___^

Kyo's so HxC

The Song:

Official Lyric Translations:

How many hangings tonight under the red moon "..."

How deep will it sink inside eating skin that doesn't match?
The snake makes way through the sheets and goes inside
the uterus.

It can seem like a someiyoshino; a cherry blossom petal,
that dances sadly.
The stain is the moon that's fulfilled, and the vomiting at
night begins.
Don't you remember?

Color of faint...the night begins and people start to awe.
Color of pomegranate...sting with the prick and disappear
far away.

How many secret hangings of the premature baby tonight
under the red moon "..."

Bloody Baby&Sacrifice

Don't you remember?

Color of Golden yellow...want to be the spider that stings.
Color of tears...remembering the memories.
Color of faint...the night begins and people start to awe.
Color of pomegranate...sting with the prick and disappear
far away.

Pictures from June 14, 2007

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 02:20:18 GMT

No I haven't died . . . just chilling around, I guess. So here are some pictures I've taken but haven't bothered posting for whatever reason. Enjoy my insane boredom.

The Lack Of

Thu, 03 May 2007 01:32:31 GMT

I can’t remember something . . . my head hurts. My mind’s going in circles trying to remember this forgotten piece of my life.

It’s raining . . .

It’s dark . . .

It’s cold . . .

Off in the distance, I can see myself. I’m kneeling on the floor, drenched in the rain. My hair covers most of my face. But what am I doing there, when I’m right here . . . looking at myself?

What’s wrong? Why can’t I breathe? I try to call out to myself but the constant downpour is too heavy, I can’t hear anything . . . I think my voice is gone, too. But that can’t be. Over there, I’m screaming. I sound like I’m in pain. I can feel myself crying, but there are no tears on my face here, only over there.

I look so defenseless and hollow.

My chest feels likes it’s going to explode. I’m trying to move over there, but somebody just grabbed me and pulled me back . . . What? Nobody’s there . . . I can’t see. My breathing is shallow. I turn back around to see if I can get over there . . . but it’s all gone . . .

The ground.

The sky.

The rain.

The noise.

I’m gone?

I try to call to myself.

No voice.

I can move now. There’s something on the floor. A photograph. I can remember something now. I remember rain. It hurts somewhere. But I can’t feel it. What happened to the me that was there?

I turn around and find what I was looking for . . .

I reach out to touch my face . . . there’s feeling. I can breathe again. I tell myself something . . . “Don’t cry. There will be more days like the one in the photograph.”

My hair is wet. My eyes are dry. I smell what used to be rain.

I look at the photograph and smile . . . another day will come.

A Fangirl's Rant: Gasp for Breath

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 20:53:06 GMT

I just recently downloaded Dir en grey's Merciless Cult PV but i wasn't expecting too much from it since nobody ever actually talked about it and mentioned how much they loved it and stuff. But the video isn't bad, but it's not amazing either. It's just a collection of clips from their live performances in Germany's Rock am Ring, France, and America (for the Family Values Tour).

Sadly, the song isn't terribly long (about 3 minutes) so they can only fit so many clips into that time period. Even still, the footage is good, and the performances look amazing. Especially the ones in Germany, the crowd was insane! And, typically, Kyo's appearance changes from performance to performance . . . and he flies. And the other guys look amazing too.

During the song, there's a part that's screamed in English "GASP! For breath!" While listening to it, since the only part you can hear well in the "for breath" part, Andrea though he was saying "Parabolas!!" and I though he was saying "Forever us!!" Only to find out that we were both terribly wrong, and you might be able to hear it, because he screams it a couple of times I think. But it gave us a good laugh, I guess. We all get to laugh at Kyo's "Engrish."

The song:

Official Lyric Translations:

The pessimistic you The merciless you
And the self loving you, What are you looking at?

With comparing and getting things in proportions

You scream out mad
You wanted this ending to happen
You must be a romanticist

But I just remembered that there is no love here
Over and over somewhere begins to break

Please love me, this blood and the meaning
Please love me, this day and this value

Gasp for breath

(Also, if you check back to my previous rant (Tsumi to Batsu), I embedded the song so you can listen to it as well.)

Pictures from 4-20-2007

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 02:38:44 GMT

I haven't done a picture post in about a month and it's kind of depressing to think that it's actually been that long since I've taken a picture.

But whatever. It was a fun day, and the few pictures that were taken came out good and that makes me happy.

Enjoy

A Fangirl's Rant: Honey and Saliva vs. Crime and Punishment

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 00:33:10 GMT

Okay, the first video this fangirl is going to rant on about is Tsumi to Batsu by Dir en grey. I think it was made in 1999, back when Dir en grey still considered themselves Visual Kei. Even though the video is kind of old, the video is pretty to look at and the colors are quite vibrant. The song is really fun to listen to and Kyo's voice makes me happy. The story behind the song is quite interesting, though it's mostly disturbing (lyric translations can be found in the "Mitsu to Tsuba" link, along with screen captures of the video).

There is a lot more to this video than just the pretty colors, of course. Don't forget the lovely band members (Kyo, Kaoru, Die, Toshiya, and Shinya). There are very rare moments when Kyo has this face of heart-melting innocence . . . but only for a moment, after that he's throwing himself around again. Kaoru headbangs with gravity-defying purple hair and some large, black spikey thing around his neck. Die has his formerly signature absurdly long bright red hair flowing all over the place and hiding his lovely face. Toshiya has cute short blue hair, and adorable little white angel wings. And Shinya looks . . . like a chick. Which isn't much of a surprise and he makes for a really pretty drummer.

Tsumi to Batsu = Honey and Saliva
Mitsu to Tsuba = Crime and Punishment

Please read the lyrics and tell me which name suits the song best and why.

The song:

Official Lyric Translations:

"From me the assailant, to you, the victim"
Every second, I drive it in.
If I lick your ears, just drop it
Here, hurry up and ask for more.
Put it in your mouth, faster
Lick the poison without missing a drop.
If you miss one drop...

show - lie - mad - sexual
1 - sad - sexually - 2 - sad - sexually

Here, hurry up and scream harder.
Just hurry up and open up your eyes

On December 24, another person is trapped
If I lick her all over - a 14-year-old girl,
I'll just try to break your body
I planted the seed and took it out.

She's in tears with a red mouth. Fuck her

Here, hurry up and scream harder.
Just hurry up and open up your eyes
See, if I look at it more and more,
the honey keeps coming
Make your sweet honey gush

I'll keep fucking you forever
Here's to your drug-addicted head
in your kissless kept head
mad yet kool
If I take the drug today,
I'll start to fuck you

You've got a pretty mouth,
You've got pretty breasts
You've got a pretty voice,
You've got a pretty face
You've got a pretty part here,
You've got a pretty part there
SIick, sticky, sloppy,
That ugly shaped part, lick it up
Then put it in down there

Here are the lovely screencaps:

>I took the time to take the screencaps and upload them, so please don't post them anywhere else without asking and giving me credit. Thank you.<

Events of March 23, 2007

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 02:35:33 GMT

This day was rather long, so there is an insanely large amount of pictures.
Of course, they day started off like any other school day, boring and school-ish. Lunch was typically crazy and fun, though.
On the way home, me and Chibi found a dead toad . . . not too charming, but fun to take pictures of.
After that, Alex picked me up and we went to Kaleena's house and did terrible and unmentionable things to Peeps. [finge(red), hamme(red), skewe(red), savou(red), pampe(red), quarte(red)] We were able to be Guitar Hero Gods/Goddesses for a little while after the Peeps unmentionables and then drove off to our destination: Night Tennis.
And it was amazing . . . but just a bit depressing that it was only just a few blocks from where Ultra was taking place, but still amazing nonetheless. I couldn't get as many shots as i wanted to because of where we were, but now we know to get closer next year.

MORE Dir en grey animations . . .

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 00:52:16 GMT

So here are some animations from Dir en grey's 304 gouhitsu, Hakushi No Sakura video. I finally got one of Die, but still none of poor Shinya >.< But don't worry, it'll come eventually, I hope.

Our Flashback to the 50's . . .

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 03:04:09 GMT

Oh my, this day was so naked. And full of inappropriate touching. O.o But it was fun and eventfully fulfilling. Thank you everybody!

Icons From Dir en grey's Jessica PV

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 02:48:46 GMT

Totchi is for you, Andrea! ^-^
Kyo is mine! >Grrrrr<

Today's Pictures: March 12, 2007

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 01:35:47 GMT

Fun things that happened today: I got a really interesting note from Marc that came with a comic, Karina eats her pizza, Nicole and Ray pose for Marc's picture and I steal it, Marc bottle-rapes Karina, I got my thighs groped, I find more people to take pictures of, Angel makes me giggle and Marc captures the moment, Angel touches himself, guitar class was uneventful, and me and Esme cut Sandro's hair.

Pictures from this weekend!

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 02:09:51 GMT

Just some pictures from today. w00t for Alex!!

JEBUS!! that's a crapload of pictures! >.< But it was fun anyway.

3-9-07 Pictures!

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 04:42:26 GMT

There, so nobody complains about not having pictures on time . . . and I don't get called out and scolded. >Ray<

3-8-07 Pictures!!

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 02:18:30 GMT

Ah . . . sorry I'm always a day late >.<

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 00:26:02 GMT

Everybody be good now and thank Pat-kun for taking most of these pictures!

PRESENTS!!

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 01:33:19 GMT

Well, for those of you who fell victim to my new camera and my trigger-happy self, I made presents for you!!!

So be joyous and appreciative and don't be afraid to use them.

I think Pat took a lot of these pictures, so thank him as well.

J-Rock-ness!

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 03:41:12 GMT

A couple of J-Rock/Visual-Kei .gif animations that I made ^-^

There are a lot of frames to them, so I'm sorry if they take a year and a half to load.

Requests, anybody?

Kaoru (Dir en grey)

Ruki (the GazettE)

X_x

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 03:30:59 GMT

Can't I just leave this place?

I hate it here.

I hate the way you look at me
And then deny my existence

And I hate it even more when
You acknowledge my existence.

You'll sit across from me,
Talk about me,
Complain about me,
Ridicule me,
Hurt me.

Then ignore me again.

Don't pass by me with that
Superior look in your eyes.

You're no longer the one
I want to prove my worth to.

You can't really call yourself
My father anymore can you?

Who are you?

What did you come back for?

You lied when you said you
Were sorry, right?

I was wrong to trust you.

I'm sorry.

>I'm not sure if I'm done yet . . . still working my thoughts out and stuff<
p.s. don't ask, this was totally random

Today . . .

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 06:57:59 GMT

    Well, today as I was on the phone with Marc talking about Ramen noodles, my mom calls. Whatever, I pick up the other line and my mom starts asking the typical questions: "What are you doing?" "How are you doing?" "What's your brother up to?" "Is he behaving?" etc . . . and I answer as I normally would, mindlessly. So then she's all like "Well your father got into a motorcycle accident, so I'm gonna go pick him up and the remains of his motorcycle. So, I'll be home later than I said I would be." This didn't really come as much of a shock to me so I just said, "OK." I swear I was running on zombie mode. So then, there was this akward silence, and I still hadn't really thought about what my mom had said. After a few awkwardly silent seconds, she says "Well, don't worry, he was only going 10 mph so nothing happened to him . . ." in this really sarcastic tone. And I was still not thinking about anything she was saying, so I say, "That's nice."
    So after we hung up, I called Marc back, still attending to my Ramen noodles. And that's when I realized what my mom was just talking about . . . and I can't say that I felt terribly bad.

I need help >.< I'm a bad daughter.
Eh . . . whatever, he didn't seem too hurt about it when he got home, since my mom probably told him. She tells him everything.

    I guess that was my subconscious revenge against my father for acting as though he forgot my birthday, and then shunning me because he didn't like my hair or my new ear gauges, and causing me to hate food and eating around most people, and many other things . . .

meh . . .